Being off track is not necessarily a bad thing. So why do we beat ourselves up every time we think we are not doing what we believe we should be doing? All negative thoughts towards oneself like self criticism and self judgments are a waste of time and very draining to our personal energy systems.
According to universal law, there is no such thing as being off track. There is a purpose to everything that we choose to do or not do, even if we are not conscious of the reason why we go in a certain direction. This law implies that we are exactly where we need to be in life at any particular time or in any particular place or situation in which we find ourselves. There are also no bad choices or good choices, only experiences from which we can choose to evolve or remain stationary – a difficult concept to grasp during those times when we are in the midst of personal chaos or challenging situations.
It must be quite obvious to those of you dear friends who have been following my year-long sojourn since I left Nova Scotia last September that I haven’t been doing much writing on this blog recently. You are correct. I want to thank you for your patience and attempts to check my blog for new material. Although it has been a challenge for me to find internet connections and have resorted to buying a cheap coffee at McDonald’s and squatting on the grass beside a neighbour’s fence just to sponge off the wireless networks, it is no excuse. As one honest friend recently said to me “I don’t want to hear any more of your excuses; just start writing again.”
I have been writing almost daily in my journal but have not been that motivated to write for public viewing. You could say I have been off track. But then again, I spent a wonderful summer here on the very warm and dry Canadian prairies riding my bicycle along the vast back country canola fields and straight dusty roads, meeting and getting to know kind and generous people, learning more about love, working part time in a metaphysical store in Moose Jaw, helping friends who need a hand with home and garden, enjoying the freedom of doing what I feel like doing on any particular day, and watching beautiful sunsets in an ever-changing prairie sky.
However, as winter is quickly descending on this part of the country, I’ve been feeling a restlessness lately to align myself with my original intention. To quote from my very first blog post last September, “My dream is to create a lifestyle for myself where I have the freedom to explore and express my creative self in the form of writing.”
So I have decided not to travel to the southwest again this winter for many reasons. Instead, I have found a warm, safe, and supportive place to get back to my writing and have prepared and stored my Prowler home on wheels for a long, cold and lonely prairie winter without me. My new digs? Well, I never thought that I would live in an apartment complex again, but here I am. The good news is that I have constant access to the internet anytime I choose to plug my laptop into the telephone jack.
I try not to question myself as to why I am now living in Saskatchewan, a place where most of my life I said I could never live. My intuition has led me here and as time passes, the many reasons become quite clear. In the beginning, I had serious doubts about the sanity of my new direction. But that was my mind talking. My heart keeps telling me that I am exactly where I need to be and that I do not always have to know the why’s and where’s of my life. My life these past few months has been a lesson in trust, and I am definitely not off track.