Butting Heads

A verbal psychic attack happens fast.  For the victim, there’s no time to think or regroup emotionally because the hurtful blows are delivered unexpectedly.  The attacker is prepared and tightly wound. The victim is usually in a numbed state of shock unable to speak, to defuse the situation in a controlled manner, or to defend without reacting in a negative way.  As a result, the situation escalates.

No argument is black and white. "I'm right; you're wrong."

This scenerio is exactly what I faced earlier this week.  The details of the attack on me and my reaction to the circumstances are not as important as the learning that I took away from it.  Looking at the whole incident from a spiritual point of view, I know at some level that I am in part responsible for creating this altercation, a spiritual law that states that you attract what you fear, or like energy attracts like energy.  It doesn’t even matter which spiritual law is involved here.  What matters is what I can learn from the experience and how I can change my thoughts and beliefs so that I don’t attract similar situations in the future.  Another lesson learned – thank you God.

There are many aspects of confrontational behavior that I have learned over the past few years, but because I found myself in the middle of this recent psychic attack, the circumstances warranted a review.  Wisdom tells me that what I experienced was probably a test to what I have learned, and my grade depends not only on how I dealt with the heat of the moment but also on how I perceive the incident after the fact.  So yesterday while I sat patiently in a sterile waiting room of the Camp Verde Buick dealership having my car serviced, my thoughts returned to my experience earlier in the week.  Truth is, I have been afraid of confrontational behavior in the past and would avoid it like the plague.  I would rather walk away than stand up for myself.   I would like to believe that my reaction to such behavior has since changed.

"Stop right there! I'm not taking on your fearful energy."

In the few seconds that it took to figure out why I was being attacked, I managed to stop the attacker’s forward thrust and remove myself from his fiery energy, because energy is what confrontation is all about.  When it was over, the temptation was there to run to a close friend to tell my story and thoroughly hash it over about how I was victimized, how inappropriate his behavior was, etc.  But that would be just creating more negative energy and dragging friends into the drama, like a dirty pond sending out filthy ripples into the world for others to experience.  I realized that I didn’t need to do that, so I kept the event private.  I didn’t give it the fuel to turn it into a huge dramatic deal.  Hopefully, the energy would disperse at my feet.  Unfortunately, many people saw or heard what happened and tried to perpetuate the drama by prompting me into discussion.  I refused saying “It’s a dead issue.  I don’t need to talk about it.”  Since then, other people have turned it into a big deal, having given it the emotional fuel to make it a bigger issue than it really needed to be.  But my thoughts were of the attacker’s pain that he was projecting onto me.  I prayed for his healing and thanked spirit for my awareness of that learning.

The service manager announces that I need a new air filter and that it will take another 45 minutes to arrive—more time to examine psychic attacks and why they occur.  There are many types of personalities that create butting head behavior.  My list is certainly not complete but it is all that I have time for while smelling rubber tires, burnt coffee, and car grease.

Sociopaths and bullies deliberately throw their power around and like to control people out of their own insecurities.  There are hot heads with energetic fire in the belly and a history of anger problems and who react with no logic or justification in an unconscious need to let off their steam.  There are the very talkative always rights who feel a tremendous need to prove their worthiness, and the more they talk, the greater the energetic pain inside that is being released.  And finally, drama lovers prove time and time again that they thrive on the energy of chaos, misunderstandings, and clashes, as that enables them to feel in an otherwise numbed out body.  The thoughts, words, beliefs and behaviors of all these personality types are based on fear and insecurity and usually have nothing to do with the people that they confront.

Knowing this, the victim can put a different light on a psychic attack from one of “Why me?  What did I do to deserve this?” to “What is going on with that person that is so painful that he feels the need to project his pain onto me?”  By recognizing the attack as pain in another person, a victim’s fear and negative reactions can be defused.

That leaves the question– what vibrational energy will the victim offer back to a verbal assailant and the rest of the world?  Will the victim’s reaction be based on love or fear?  There are many ways to react to a psychic attack.  One way is to “DAB” into it—Defend, Attack and Blame.  The victim will take a defensive stand, engage on the same level as the attacker by fighting back in an attempt to prove that there is no cause on his/her part for the altercation, and accuse the attacker of unjustified behavior.  This usually escalates the argument because everyone involved wants to prove a point, and there’s more and more negative energy given to the situation.

Another way to deal with a psychic invasion is to “COP” out—Cower On Powerlessness.  Here victims usually walk away with tail between legs because avoiding confrontation is easier than dealing with it.  They choose to let the attacker have power over them which leaves them drained of energy and usually spending hours later ruminating silently how they could have handled the situation better and what they could have said if they actually stood up for themselves.

Both of these reactions by the victim are based on fear.  So if a person reacts in either one of these ways, the question is what is the fear controlling the reactive behavior?  Understanding the reaction is essential to healing and ensuring that this type of confrontation would most likely not occur again because the lesson would have been learned.  Is it a fear of feeling unworthy, fear of not feeling loved and accepted, or perhaps a fear of looking at self as if someone were holding a mirror in front of them?

Some people who are being attacked can actually not take it personally.  When a victim can say “I am not responsible for what other people think or feel about me.  I can only be responsible for what I think and feel about myself”, they are no longer a victim.  There is no need to perpetuate the negativity and drama by talking about it to others.  They perceive the other human being as in a great deal of pain, and through understanding, only feeling compassion for the attacker’s behavior.  There have been no buttons pushed because the target of the attack is not harbouring fear, only love.  This type of person takes the high road as if looking through the eyes of angels who only know how to extend love, despite the personality flaws and misguided thinking of others.

So my confrontation earlier this week has been another spiritual gift and wonderful opportunity not only to examine my own beliefs about myself and my spiritual growth but also to acknowledge, understand, and accept the power of love through forgiveness.  In the heat of the moment, I found myself asking “What would love do in this situation and what would a loving reaction look like?”  Fear clouds that awareness and controls actions through fearful thoughts, but it is not who we are and is not what our Creator had in mind for the way we are living our lives.  Any attack, including a counter attack, is based on fear.

Love is all there is.   It is what each of us has been given by Source at the time of our creation.    It is a conscious choice on our part and means acknowledging the love in everyone, including ourselves.   Fear will always lead a person further into the rabbit hole of suffering.  Love lifts the spirit into the Oneness of all that exists and dissolves fear like a nightmare being introduced to the light of dawn.

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8 Responses to Butting Heads

  1. Terriez says:

    Hey Girl, I am returning to Ontario to live near Bancroft. Leaving in a u-haul truck towing my car March 30th Look out the adventure begins.

    ‘Butting Heads’ was printed off by me to give to a friend who had a dreadful experience by an unnecessary confrontation that was extremely toxic. It was timely and helpful.

    Thank you, Shanomi. Keep up the inspiring writing.

  2. Ginny says:

    You are so right, any kind of attack happens way too fast!! No one is ever prepared for this. I’m so sorry to hear that you had to experience this, but you never fail to amaze me. Not many would be willing to admit they learned something from a confrontation. Until recently, I would always berate myself, why did I not say something back, why did I go there, why did I not leave, so your quote, “Like energy attracts like energy, I agree with 100%.
    By not discussing what happened with friends, you took the hot air out of that person’s balloon. If they take the time to reflect on this they may learn a lesson. Whenever I have the misfortune to confront a bully whether it is verbal or physical I always think about how much pain they must be feeling. All they are doing is trying to give someone else the pain so they can feel better themselves.
    I have made a promise to self to not allow another person to bully me; there will be no “DAB or COP from me, not anymore. There is a note on my fridge that I read at least once a day, very similar to the one you have here, “I am only responsible about what I think and feel about myself”.
    Stay safe, stay strong, and take care.

    • Shanomi says:

      You are also right when you say that bullies “try to give someone else the pain so they can feel better themselves”, except “try” would imply deliberate. I believe that most sociopaths are not totally aware that their confrontational behavior is making them feel better in some way. The whole ordeal here has sure made for an interesting week. Thanks for your comment, Ginny. Don’t take any guff!:)

  3. Paulette says:

    Hey, well, that was quite the interesting tale. I could give you a bunch of questions to probe this event even further but I think that you have done enough work on it yourself to a degree.
    So what do you mean by a psychic attack ? Was this from a real flesh and blood person ? or from another ‘being ‘ of some sort ? Remember, it is all good. Remember who you are, keep your light on, once the light is on it can not be turn off, and it brightens up even the darkest places. I am sending love and light and millions of blessings. Stay strong and be well. Hugs,
    PS what others say about the situation, is a representation of their perceptions, illusions, fears and or beliefs, they are not yours. Trust YOU.

  4. Margaret says:

    Therefore be at peace with God, whaterever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all it’s sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.”
    Found in Old St. Paul’s Church, Baltimore: dated 1692
    Shanomi – you are an inspiration. Wonderful ‘Bermuda’ day here – a wonderful walk on the beach.
    stay safe, xoxox

    • Shanomi says:

      Hi Margaret…Thanks for your comments. Glad you had a warm holiday. I was warm until today. After 28 degrees all week, it’s only 2 degrees C today and 6 inches of snow in Sedona. A real Arizona winter wonderland here.
      Blessings to you both

  5. Anonymous says:

    I think you are absolutely, positively amazing and I am so glad that our paths crossed and I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will again….

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