Blessing in Disguise

Everything happens for a reason.  It has been said that there are no accidents in life.   When unpleasant situations or events occur in our lives, our first response is usually to ask “Why did this happen?  Why me?  Why now?”  We allow the very human part of ourselves,
the ego mind, to convince us that it is an unfortunate situation and that we are now victims of circumstance.  This mind will then trigger intense emotional reactions referred to as stress responses which may include anger, resentment, sadness, confusion, etc.  After that, our world can progress in one of two ways.  Firstly, we can continue thinking and feeling that same way for as long as we want, telling stories of the mishap, seeking reassurance and validation from others who will comfort our feelings with words that we want to hear, and living without any real understanding of why it happened because we basically don’t want to be responsible for it.  Life is far easier when we blame another person, place, or thing for our demise.  Or is it?  In time, if we are lucky, the real reason why things happen may become apparent but only if we can let go of the continued blame.  Otherwise, our minds will cloud our intuition, the real voice of truth.

On the other hand, if we stop the busy-ness in our lives, take a moment to reflect asking for a higher understanding of the situation, and give ourselves permission to hear the answer, there is always a spiritual gift, a blessing in disguise, for it has also been said that there is a gift to us in every experience, especially a bad experience, a learning for the taking if we take time to take.  The more unpleasant the experience, the more there is to learn and the further along our spiritual paths we progress – a lesson well learned and never having to attend that spiritual lecture again or even show up for class.

Many years ago I had a friend who would continually ask me “And what did you learn from that?”  No matter what we were talking about, he would eventually ask me that question.  It annoyed me at the time because it completely interrupted my sharing and I learned not to say all with him.  Not exactly a great way to have a friendship, but I did learn to ask myself that question whenever I was in the drama of life.  Even that stressful friendship was a blessing in disguise given the time over the years to see it.  So it goes without saying that when I had the car accident earlier this month and I was walking up and down the side of the road with shaky legs, tears in my eyes, and glancing towards the damaged trailer, I was asking that same question.  But I was far too deep into my stress response to hear anything, and I felt like the whole world was crashing around me.  I couldn’t imagine anything positive from the event.

As it turned out, I took both roads after the accident. I first went down the “poor me” path, blaming the other driver who apparently fell asleep at the wheel and veered over the line, crying in front of anyone who showed enough compassion to listen, grieving about my home on wheels that was taken away from me to be repaired, worrying about all my worldly possessions now in the hands of strangers, tormenting myself with anxiety over the length of time it would take to complete the repairs and if I would eventually encounter snow on my route being so late in the fall, and on and on it went in my head for days.  I resisted asking the question “And what have I learned from this?” because I was blaming another for my misfortune.

When my drama became too unbearable, I did what I always do – I started journaling.   I stopped blaming the other guy and gave myself permission to understand what was happening and why.  Writing over the past few years has been my tool for accessing my intuition, my voice of truth.  My first entry went something like this “What is happening to me?”  The answers are in italics.

Be patient and try to remain positive under this duress.  This was an unfortunate accident.

“But there are no accidents.  Everything happens for a reason.”

Try to stay positive.  If you want to know what this is all about, it would be that – holding your center, staying focused on what you want for yourself.  You are tired –
rest – fatigue clouds the mind, heart, and spiritual functioning.”

“Yeah, I now don’t even want to write anymore.  Is it normal to cry about this?” I could feel
myself not wanting to ask the hard questions.

Absolutely!  Honour your feelings.

Guiding Influence

A few days later when I was feeling anxious again and confused about my decisions to travel, I wrote in a receptive mood “Please tell me honestly what has been happening.”

It was an unfortunate accident of your doing.  Your anxiety about hauling, your fears of going south across the border, of letting go of Indy – fear, fear, fear.   More sabotage.  Why do you think it was a near miss head on?  We woke him up – he was asleep, out
late the night before, drinking, he was asleep at the wheel.  We woke him up – for you – to protect you.  But you have unconsciously sabotaged your journey out of your own fears.  We are not trying to tell you anything here.  We’re not saying “Don’t go south, stay here.”  We want to see you happy.  It is only your fears that are making you unhappy and holding you captive.  Be free.  You have earned it.  Let go of worry of future events.  All these souls who are honkering down are living in fear – fear of governments, fear of the illuminati, fear of God, fear of Mother Earth, your home.  We say and have always said – trust – follow your dreams.  Listen to what you’ve been telling yourself for years – “I want to write…to live below the jet stream…to be free…to serve my purpose”, etc.  Do you think you’ll find your purpose not going?  Please, please, please follow your true desires and let go of anything inauthentic – fear!  Don’t let your mind justify your actions.  Follow your heart.  Hold to your visions for yourself and let go of worrying about chaos and hard times…All your life you’ve seen yourself in a boat by yourself.  So you need to do the rowing; you need to figure out where you’re rowing to or what is on the shore when you reach it.  Have you forgotten God?  Have you forgotten the wind and currents of water?  Why row your brains out, to use your language, when you can sit back and relax and let God blow you to safety.  You’ve always used your power; we’re asking you to use God power to get your boat to shore.  (pause)  Ask yourself how you feel right now?

“OK.  How am I feeling right now?”  Calmer.  Less anxiety.  I know this is the lesson – complete trust that I will be taken care of.  I have been living in fear and it makes me
hurt.  So the accident was self-sabotage?  My fearful thoughts creating my fear-filled reality?

Yes.  Your fear of not doing the right thing, so “when you don’t know what to do, do nothing” (quoting me).  The accident has put you in a do nothing place, a “void” that you describe to yourself.  Shanomi, we know how difficult it is for you to trust – and not just little trusts – we’re asking you to big time trust.  But!  Do not go on the road in fear!  Go when you’re ready with a trusting heart.

How can I get myself to that point?

The same way you always clear fear or any other issue.  Give yourself some credit here… let go of fear wherever you are.  When you feel fear creep into your life, stop whatever you’re doing and clear.  If you don’t, you will live a life of events created from fear.  Sometimes lessons are hard to learn.  “Here’s the gift coming”, you say.  Yes, the accident was a gift to help you see how you live your life in fear and what happens to you when you do.  You weren’t meant to die on highway 43, and you know that.  That’s why you weren’t the one yelling “I could have died back there!”  It was a gift to show you that you’re ready to live your life in trust – so please trust…Your lesson is also to live your own life and not take what others say to heart.  Let them have their say, but ask yourself later “Is this fear or trust?”  Stay focused on your vision for yourself, nothing else.

Eyes Like a Hawk

The next day I still felt somewhat anxious about my journey.  I decided to keep myself busy by helping a friend do some sanding and painting at her house.  While she left to pick up some supplies, there was an unusually loud startling noise that came from the kitchen.  A red-tailed hawk flew into the window and was now lying dead on the ground.  How strange, I thought, for this keen-eyed bird to schmuck itself into the house.  Hawk flew into my life that day, so I knew it was my medicine, my gift from the animal spirit world.  That evening I again sat down to journal.  I asked “So what exactly was the hawk trying to tell me?”

That you have shut down your vision.  The hawk shut down his vision for a moment and ran into glass.  He was on the right path but he lost sight of where he was going.

So I’ve shut down my vision.  Does this mean I will also schmuck myself?

You already did.  This is hawk’s gift to you – to help you see that you were not seeing…Spend more time in nature.  Nature will help you see clearly. (pause)  Remember hawk – tremendous keen eyesight.  Yet he did himself in because he lost sight and unfortunately hit glass to his demise.  You have tremendous inner sight.  You’ve shut it down and created fear and uncertainty for yourself.  When you’re in fear, you lose sight.  This isn’t about hawk; this is about you and your visions for yourself.

Thank you for this blessing in disguise.

You’re most welcome.

Before

After

Earlier this past week, I finally received a phone call that my trailer was ready to be picked up.  When I hitched up at the dealership and took it for a short spin around the building, there was a very loud noise coming from the wheels, the same noise that I heard before the accident earlier in the month.  I immediately unhitched and left the trailer in the shop for the mechanics to check the wheels the next day.  To make a long story short, there was only one of four brakes in working order.  I would have never made it to Arizona without another accident.  It was at that moment that I realized the blessing in disguise – the highway accident was intended to get me off the road before I killed myself and possibly many others.  Yes, it was an unfortunate accident, but it spared me from what could have been a more serious one on an American interstate.  Even though I had been journaling
extensively since the accident in an attempt to understand my responsibility in it, it took time for the disguised blessing to present itself but only because I believe that everything happens for a reason and I also asked myself “What have I learned from this?”  Otherwise, I would have never learned anything and would have remained captive in my fear and blame.  This was just another hard lesson along my long road to freedom.

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5 Responses to Blessing in Disguise

  1. Peg says:

    Kudos on seeing the other side of the coin and recognizing your accident for the blessing it has been. Trust in your wisdom continue to carry you forward on this amazing journey of yours.
    Peg

  2. JOY says:

    Well done Shanomi, and bon voyage!

  3. Bev Campbell says:

    Hi Shanomi,
    Thanks for your writings.

    There is a very good website for female campers (mostly pulling trailers). RVBuddies@yahoogroups.com
    The women support each other with advice on pulling trailers, routes to travel and general moral support! I find it quite helpful.

    My best wishes to you for peace on your journey,
    Bev

    • sandy lewis says:

      Hi Dear Shanomi,
      You’re thinking ,thinking, but most of all taking action, a good and positive thing. Proud of you and I’m thinking of you always.
      I love the writtings,updates ,etc. And hope to get them up while I’m in Fl. We leave on the 12th. We just had quite a storm, lots of wind and high waters everywhere, broke records.
      Bon Voyage with love and wishes, sandy

  4. Ginny says:

    Wow, Shanomi, Wow!!! Everything happens for a reason, your brakes! When I read your posts, I always learn something, “What have I learned from this?” I will remember this one and use it when needed. Travel safe.

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