The Choice

“The torment is always in your head, not your heart.”

(Dr. James Martin Peebles as channeled through Summer Bacon)

We create our own reality.  Simply as that.  If our reality is pain and suffering, we have created it.  We are not victims of life.  If we are victims of anything, it would be our own minds.  Every thought and word we express is an energetic vibration that is projected out into the universe.  This energy is like a missile that targets similar energy.  When it finds a match, it bounces back to us in the form of an experience.  A negative vibration attracts a negative experience.  To change our experiences, we have to change our minds.

What is our energetic offering to the universe?

What is our energetic offering to the world?

The reality that we create not only depends on who we are on the outside but also who we are on the inside.  It doesn’t matter whether we speak a positive or negative thought out loud or silently talk to ourselves because the effect of what we attract will be the same.  In fact, it is usually not what people say out loud that creates the suffering, it is what they say silently to themselves – the unspoken words, the thoughts of self, the untruths that we tell ourselves, the false story that gets played over and over by the judge and the critic.

This past weekend I spent silent time with myself reflecting on my own thought processes. Being apartment bound from another Canadian prairie winter storm brings most activity to a halt.  I wasn’t enjoying one of my latest life experiences, and at some level I knew that I had to take responsibility for it.  My conclusion was that I had a choice – to continue with the same victimizing thoughts, or to train my mind to dwell on more empowering thoughts.  The key for me was being aware of just exactly what I was thinking and saying to myself.  Only then could I change it.

The mind is very powerful and, unfortunately, if it is out of control, it can murder us with its constant negative rumination.  As I took charge of my mind, I noticed the change in how I was feeling in my body.  Life didn’t seem as harsh and my heart seemed lighter.  It became less important for me to understand my present experience or even to dwell on it.  I surrendered the need to know everything and simply enjoyed being me.

Angel light from heavenI write in my journal most mornings, and here is what I channeled about feeling victimized:

All obstacles in life have their root in fear because at some level, you have created the reality of obstacles out of your own fear.  Like attracts like.  Like mind, like obstacles.  Fear attracts fearful obstacles.  You attract what you fear – a nasty spiritual lesson for humans to learn, and some never do, nor do they want to.  They prefer to live as a victim of misery and suffering, whether it is illness, failed relationships, poverty, despair, etc.  As you are well aware, it all begins in the mind.  But people do not want to believe that.  They do not want to believe that they themselves have created their own misery.  In that respect there is no such thing as being a victim, for being a victim of illness, for example, would mean thinking that it was out of a person’s control. 

Let’s look at illness.  Many people in your world believe that they “get sick”.  That by some luck of the draw they have been inflicted with ill health.  When in fact, if they understood this reality or truth of all illness, they would say to themselves “I have created this.  Now that I know and understand that I have orchestrated it in my mind with my fearful thoughts, I can take responsibility for it and uncreate what I have done to myself.”  Until humans start thinking like this, there will always be illness and suffering on Earth.  And it doesn’t have to be like that.  It’s easier for them to say “It’s not my fault that I got cancer.  I’ve eaten well for years and exercise every day.  Why me?  Is there no God?”  Yes, our dear friends, there is a God indeed, and your God suffers when you suffer because there is absolutely no need of what you do to yourselves if you changed your minds.  Your thoughts create your reality, and if your reality is sickness, then your mind is sick.  That’s just how it is.  But how many people see this?  How many people acknowledge to themselves that every little ache and pain is a product of their creation?  Who would want to admit that?

Cancer is rampant in your society.  Why?  Because as a society your collective mind set has been saying for centuries “I am undeserving, I will never amount to anything, nothing good ever happens to me, I know I am going to get cancer because everybody in my family has had it.  I’m doomed, so I better brace myself…” and on and on it goes with your minds.  That’s where it starts.  Cancer is about something eating away at you, something that you are unwilling to admit and take responsibility for.  Until you do as a collective society, it will continue to eat away at your population.  Whatever is eating away at you in your mind, grab hold of this fear, shake it loose, release it and create a new reality in your consciousness, one of love, trust, hope, faith, oneness, etc.

A mind not to be changed by place or time, the mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.

(John Milton)

Love yourself.  Be your best friend.

Love yourself. Be your best friend.

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Faces of Winter

Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence.

Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance.

Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence.

Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.

(Yoko Ono)

Same ‘Ol, Same ‘Ol

November Yard

November Yard

March Yard

March Yard

Moose is Loose and Hungry Like a Horse



Ever-Changing Weather

Angry Blizzard

Angry Blizzard

Serene Sunset

Serene Sunset

Forlorn Field

Hibernating Bales of Hay

Hibernating Bales of Hay

Dances With Earth

Dancing Sundog

Dancing Sundog



Snowy Sentinels

A Prairie Pile On

A Prairie Pile On

Grain Elevator Towers Over Town

Grain Elevator Towers Over Town

Buick “A Drift”

Lost, and Found With A Shovel

Lost, and Found With A Shovel

Day’s End

Regular Prairie Exercise

Regular Prairie Exercise

A Happy Home

Fun With Jack Frost

Fun With Jack Frost

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On Watch

Thanks to all of you who view this blog regularly and who want to know if I am staying in Saskatchewan or if life will take me in another direction.  There are really no answers to either of these questions because at this point I don’t know.  The whole journey since I left Nova Scotia has been about a lesson in trust.

I have extended my stay on the prairies for many reasons, some I know and others I do not.  That does make me wonder, however, what else is in store for me here, but I try not to dwell on the need to know.  For if I knew what possibilities the future is holding for me, I would create many expectations around that knowledge.  Whenever expectations are inflamed, disappointment typically ensues.  Therefore, letting go of the need to know involves trust, believing that my future here or wherever it takes me will unfold exactly the way it is intended.  For certain, I will be back in my RV as soon as the weather warms up.

For this cold season, however, I am living in an apartment; my trailer is in storage and the floor is being repaired due to condensation damage; I am beginning to sing again one morning a week at the local health center with a wonderful group of seniors; and every morning I watch how my pen glides across the ruled pages of my journal filling my heart and mind with inspiration.

Ice-laden trees in Craik

Ice-laden trees in Craik

The main street of Craik after a snow storm. The snow is first plowed into piles before taken away.

The main street of Craik after a snow storm. The snow is first plowed into piles before taken away.

I also spend a lot of time observing how the winter season blesses this part of Canada.   I watch how the many storms have gradually blanketed the Earth with deep snow.  I consistently witness temperatures so cold that the branches on the trees and bushes glisten each morning with a crispy white frost, and Jack always paints an abstract on the back door window pane.  It is the kind of cold that can be felt indoors when the thermostat is already turned to 20° C, or can be heard crunching beneath my heavy boots as I make my way along the snow-covered street towards town.   I watch the silent-moving and mesmerizing effects of the relentless prairie wind as it creates linear streams of drifting snow that flow across the front yard or on the road in front of me   The effect of all this wintry weather on my senses makes me reminiscent of my childhood and what winters used to be like in eastern Canada.

Highway to Moose Jaw

Blustery Highway #2 from Chamberlain to Moose Jaw

One of the first things I did after moving into the apartment was have a block heater installed in the Buick.  Everyone kept telling me that it was definitely needed if my car was to survive a winter on the Canadian prairies.  On the major highway between Saskatoon and Regina, it appears to me that vehicles pass going the same speed that they did during the spring, summer and fall.  One speed for all seasons.  The land is so flat here that sliding off a slippery road into shallow terrain is perhaps more of an inconvenience than a disaster.  The temperatures dropped early in the season, and just when I thought that it was the coldest weather I had ever been in, the locals were still walking around town without gloves or hats.  After my attempts at complaining in public, I was responded to numerous times with “This is nothing.  Winter hasn’t really started yet.”  So I stopped looking for sympathy and moved on with accepting my decision to be here.

Sunset over Craik

A typical sunset view from my living room window

Wintry Sunset near Davidson

A late afternoon bone-chilling sunset near Davidson

I watch the heavens above.  The living room window in the apartment is very large with a wide view of the northwest.  The sunsets are beautiful, the sky ever changing and the sundogs plentiful.

Sundog in Aylesbury Field

The fields in Aylesbury danced to the tune of this sundog

Sundog in Craik Skies

Early morning sundog observed on the edge of town in Craik

Ominous-looking storm clouds can roll lowly across the distant horizon one minute, and the sun can be shining through an expansive clear blue sky the next.  The clouds in particular have certainly been capturing my interest and watchful eyes.

A large flat circular cloud moving north as storm clouds move south

A large flat circular cloud moving towards the north as lower storm clouds move southward

Suddenly another flat circular cloud appear within seconds of seeing the first

Another flat circular cloud appeared shortly after seeing the first, both moving northward

Left viewing the sky and came back to the living room window two minutes later.  The two mysterious clouds completely disappeared.

I left viewing the sky and came back to the living room window a couple minutes later.  The two mysterious clouds had disappeared completely.

If destiny dictates that I eventually leave Saskatchewan, I will do so with conscious fond memories and with the heart-warming knowledge that this area will always offer a home to me.  In the meantime, I will live each monent of the day in gratitude for being here.  To not feel this way would be the result of blaming something else when the beauty around me, the experience of living a tranquil prairie life and the many kind hearts befriending me are all happening on my watch.

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One Step at a Time

Why do people trip?  When someone stumbles, how often would you hear “Watch where you’re going”.  No, don’t watch where you are going.  Watch the ground beneath you.  To watch where you are headed is to not see where you are at.  That is why people trip; their eyes are on the path ahead and not on the ground beneath their stumbling feet.  This is a metaphor, of course, for life.

A disappointment is a big trip and can stop us in our tracks.  When we expect something to happen, whether a positive or negative situation, and it doesn’t happen, it can be a huge disappointment.   We feel like the rug is being pulled out from under our feet.

Everyone of Your Disappointments is Your Appointment with GodSome people say they trust in the Creator, or in Jesus, but the words are no sooner out of their mouths when they start to worry about all sorts of things – their health, finances, career path, family, etc.  If they cannot trust the little things in their lives, how can they expect to trust the really big things, like God?   Whenever I rob myself of joy and inner peace – and I am the robber, no one or nothing else – I ask myself “What am I expecting to happen?” Expectations have nothing to do with reality, only with the human mind.  Reality is the present moment, the now.  Everything else is a mental illusion.

To worry is to not trust, and worry is an aspect of human nature that is based on fear.   When we feel fear, and it comes in many forms, it is usually because there is something that we do not understand about ourselves or the world around us.  Then we proceed forward on a search for answers.  That leaves the question of why do we have the need to know so much?  I believe because we don’t trust ourselves, we don’t trust life, and we really don’t trust the Creator.  If we did, we would not worry.  We would not feel the compulsion or need to take things into our own hands in an attempt to control our own lives.  This must also mean that we believe our lives are out of control.

Sometimes we want something to happen so intensely that we allow our overactive minds to set up a possible future scenario to a point that we eventually expect it to happen.  When it doesn’t, we feel devastated and revert back to a wounded place, a place of victimization where we blame others or situations for preventing it from happening when all along it is ourselves that we can blame for expecting too much.  Where is our trust in all this?  Why do we feel the need to be two or three steps ahead of where we are?  We are robbing ourselves of the joy and peacefulness of being fully in the present moment.

Past Present Future SignThe present moment is all we really have because that is where we always are.  The past is gone and the future is never here.  All we have of the past are memories, but we are never actually living in the past, only bringing memories to the surface.  Memories are only in the human mind, not in the reality of the moment.  The future does not exist.  We can never live in the future; it is impossible.  The future is also a fabrication of the human mind.  The future will always be just that – the future, a period of time that is yet to come.  Therefore, all we have is now, and yet we continually try to recreate the past or to be in the future.  Does that mean that we do not like where we are?  Are we afraid to simply BE?  There is no other explanation.  All human emotional and mental suffering is caused from our overactive brains dwelling on past memories and/or worrying about what the future will hold.

Trust is a hard concept for humans to not only learn but also to practice.  Anything that has to be practiced must be a skill waiting to be developed.  I see trust this way.  Trust does not just come, especially when it is broken; we have to earn our own trust as well as the trust of others.  If we don’t trust ourselves, we will surely not trust anyone or anything else in the world, and that is what robs us of joy.  That is what causes our minds to fear and to create expectations and worry.  But when it comes to our relationships with others, how can we trust and not expect, for the very definition of trust according to Google is “Enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities but expecting that they will not do this.”  Most emotional suffering is caused by our relationships with others, how we perceive them, and what we expect from them.

Trust scriptedLately, whenever I realize that my brain is full of useless chatter reliving a past situation or worrying about where I am going, I tell myself “I don’t know, and I don’t need to know.  Trust, Shanomi.  Trust.”  That stops the mental treadmill at least for a time until the next round of rumination.  This is how I figure life to be – joy and inner peace are given when we can let go of expectations and worry.   Surrender and trust.  Let go and let God.   If we can stay out of our own way, a way of mental distractions and fabrications, we will have our freedom.  If we can also let go of the need to know so much in our outer world and tap into the wisdom of our inner world where God resides , we will have the knowledge and tools to set us free, to simply BE in the joy of who we are and take life one conscious step at a time.

“Serenity Prayer”

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Give me the courage to change the things that I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

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The Gift in Giving

A friend once told me that a gift is not truly received until it has been acknowledged. The wisdom that she was imparting to me implied that appreciation holds a deeper meaning if expressed some time after the giving.   Most people, of course, would likely say “Thank you” when given a gift, but how does a giver really know if his or her gift is truly appreciated, or if the gift has touched someone’s life, until a certain amount of time has passed?   Some people give gifts that impact people’s lives in a very positive way, but they never know because they are never told.

Christmas CardMany years ago I gave Christmas gifts that included a homemade greeting card with a separate prayer poem inside, each friend receiving a different prayer.  I thought this was a unique and thoughtful gift idea, but I never knew if my friends appreciated this part of my gift because no one ever acknowledged it.  One of my friends was an elderly neighbour who had many fears about living alone in her house.  So I included in her card “A Prayer for Living Alone” which I found on the internet.  Years later, she eventually became ill and passed on.  A few days before the memorial service, her daughter told me that the poem I gave her mother long ago was being included on the funeral program.  At first I did not remember what she was referring to, but then she told me that her mother kept my prayer poem because it meant so much to her.  She evidently read it every day as part of her morning inspiration.  I had no idea how my gift impacted my dear friend’s life until that moment.

Giving a presentAt this time of year, there is a lot of giving going on.  Besides the presents for under the tree, there are dinner invitations, social hours, offers to drive to parties, etc.  How do we acknowledge the kindness bestowed upon us?  Do we phone our friends the next day and say “Hey, thanks for the lift last night” or “That was such a lovely meal yesterday; you’re such a wonderful cook” or “I really appreciate the time you took to come over and shovel off my sidewalk”, etc.  And how does it make us feel when we hear such acknowledgment?  How many of us wonder for days if our generosity was appreciated at all or what people thought of our Christmas presents because those receiving are not mindful of our desire to know?  My friend who spoke these wise words was trying to tell me that there is something incomplete in the giving if the gift is not acknowledged in this manner.

To understand the spiritual concept of giving, I recently asked my angels for their advice on this topic.  Here is an excerpt from my journal entry:

Angels, what is your take on gifting?

Two-way communication and dialogue.

What do you mean exactly?

Gifting is two-way – the energy of communication.  Communication can be in words, gestures, looks with the eyes, physical activity, and gifts as you know them.  But what most humans have long forgotten is that any act of love is a gift, whether it be a physical gift as at Christmas time or a non-physical gift as in acts of kindness at any time of the year.  We say, celebrate the gift of love all year round.  Why do you wait until this time of year – because of ritual and tradition?  How many of your gifts in the coming few days will be truly given in love?  How many will be given in relief that everything got done before the big day?  Is this love?  Is this in the spirit of giving?  And despite how all the gifts will be given in terms of the energy behind the giving, how many of those gifts will be acknowledged for the giving, not for the gifted item in itself? 

What’s important is the spirit of giving, not the gift.  Even if the gift is not something you want or need, appreciate the giving behind the gift.  Appreciate the person who gave you the gift, for to not do this is to lose the true spirit of Christmas, the birth of Jesus.  Will you be celebrating that in a few days or all the wonderful decorations that you are proud of, or the delicious food that you have prepared, or all the gifts that Santa left under the tree, or all the greeting cards on your mantle?  What are you telling your children with this kind of Christmas celebration?  Ask your children now what Christmas means to them and see if you taught them well as to the true meaning of Christ-mas. 

(pause)  Have we spoiled your fun with a sober reminder of what you are celebrating?  (pause)  Love, children.  Whatever you do at this time of year and always, love.  Love who you are and give and receive your gifts from a loving heart.  This is how your Christ wants you to remember him – as a symbol of love. 

Christmas giftAnd what will you do with all the gifted items that you do not want and will not use?  Will you put them on a shelf of unused things or in a box in the basement?  Will you hoard all your useless things, or will you find someone who could use what you can’t use?  And what will be your energy behind passing on these so-called “used gifts” if you haven’t actually used them yet – one of guilt and embarrassment if the receiver ever found out that the gift was given to you, or one of gratefulness that you found someone who will appreciate the gift as you appreciate the original giving? 

Your aboriginal people on Earth understand well this spirit of giving, as it is considered an honor to receive a gift that can be passed on to another.  Can you now understand how this way of gifting creates a flow of the energy of abundance and not create stagnant energy by hoarding gifts in a box or chaotic energy from the worry of what to do with them or where to put them? 

A gift is a symbol of love, and love made manifest is from heart to heart.  Please do not forget this as you celebrate your Christmas.

Thank you for this inspiration and for giving me the words I was looking for in my blog post.

We do this together – always.  You are not alone as you think.  That is our loving gift to you.  Your passing along our loving words about giving gifts is your way of showing appreciation for what was given to you.  So you see, not only physical gifts can be passed on in love but also spoken and written words.  Remember this, and think of all acts of kindness as gifts to be acknowledged and passed on.

Thank you again.

You are most welcome.

Just as I thinking about what words I could use to finish this post, another friend sent me an email which including the following words.  I have protected names with initials.

I had a nice surprise this morning. DM came with a “Pot of Gold” and thanked me so much for the lovely turkey dinner. He enjoyed it very much. It was special to him as his mom used to do this every Christmas – inviting bachelors for a turkey dinner. He started reminiscing when he was here and told me that the village is not the same anymore after most of the older generation passed away in the meantime. That’s kind of him to show his appreciation.”

Thank you, MC, for saying those words of wisdom to me many years ago.  It truly was a gift that has never been forgotten, only not acknowledged until this moment as you read this post.

Merry Christmas Everybody

Posted in Journaling/Channeling, Narrative | 8 Comments

School Bell is Ringing

Be a servant to your heart, not your mind.  When you are a servant to your heart, you are a servant to God.  God can work through you.  (Arianna)

Love is really all we have; everything else is an illusion created by the mind

School is never out here on planet Earth.  Sometimes there is never even a recess.  The opportunity for learning is continual.  I have asked myself lately “How am I sitting in school?  Am I paying attention to what I am being shown, or am I daydreaming in my own little world?”  Paying attention means being conscious.  Spending time in a world of mental distractions and irrelevant thinking is being unconscious.   It is the difference between being awake or asleep.  How can a student learn anything when asleep?  As any good pupil will know, the secret to expanding consciousness and increased learning is to pay attention, and the trick to paying attention is to give oneself permission to do so.

Human beings have many mental distractions in life – relationships, career changes, money issues, etc.  But the fact is, Earth is our school classroom, and these kinds of issues are the classroom activities.  What we perceive as everyday distractions are the opportunities for learning if we choose to see life that way.  When we can ask ourselves “What have I learned from this or that experience?” the experience itself will open the doors to learning.  Once a student has learned something, there is no need to relearn and he/she can move on to the next lesson.  If no learning has taken place because the student chooses to remain asleep, the lesson will be repeated at some point in the future because that is the way schools operate.  Not “getting” the lesson of the day creates a life of frustration and behavior issues as well as a pattern of attracting the same challenging issues over and over.

So why do we have to learn anyway?  Why can’t we all just go about our daily business in a normal way?  The fact is, no one has a normal life even though we all strive for it.  “Normal” is a word, but can anyone actually explain what it means when it comes to living life?  To strive for normality is, therefore, living a life of illusion.  Normality is a concept we create in our minds, a vision of what we want our lives to look like but we never seem to bring to fruition.  Why?  Because we are in school, and when we believe our lives are normal, there is no learning.  If there is no learning, there is no personal growth.  If there is no personal growth, there is no evolution of our species and the world in which we live, meaning the inhabitants of planet Earth.

If you have been paying attention to the world in which you live, you will notice that the Earth, our home, is changing rapidly.  Life is far from “normal”.  Humans who are awakening are asking “What on Earth is going on?” and these humans want to know more and to understand.   The humans who have taken the time to do their research on the topic of planetary changes are the ones who are fully conscious and learning the mysteries of our world.  Only people who are asleep do not see the changes or want to believe that we are headed in a different direction.  They continue to live their lives seeking normality.   The Earth is in a process of change, and we have the opportunity to learn and change with her or remain asleep.

So at this time in our history, the school bell is ringing, and that leaves the question “Who is the teacher?”  The teacher is God, the Creator of the world in which we live, the One who is orchestrating the lessons in the classroom.  That also leaves the question “And what exactly is the lesson right now on planet Earth, our classroom?”  The answer is “To love.”

So let’s take a moment to analyse and understand the lesson.  One of the gifts that our teacher has given us is the ability to feel; that is, to experience emotions.  There are only two emotions – love and fear.  Therefore, any emotion that is not based on love is an emotion based on fear.  Anger, resentment, jealousy, grief, frustration, greed, anxiety, and the endless list of emotions that create pain and suffering are all based on fear and insecurity.  Fear always has an agenda and controls our world by creating wars, greed, and tyranny.  How is that now working for us?

The path to a more compassionate world starts with each individual and our ability to love.  We cannot personally change the humans who are exercising fear-base control in our world; we can only change what we think and how we feel about ourselves in the world.  That is where the shift towards a more compassionate world starts.   It is pointless to get angry or depressed over the changes that are occurring, as that energy is feeding into the fear that already exists.  As my angels recently told me during a journaling session “Love needs no reason to exist… Live for no one else, but love all who come to you…The brain always has an agenda, love doesn’t.”

If a person wants to understand the lesson, experience personal growth, and have more inner peace, it is not even enough to ask “Why am I angry, sad, etc.?”  The question to be asked is “What am I afraid of?” because there is always an answer if we dig deep enough in our research on the topic.  If we don’t understand our fear, it will always control us in the form of negative emotions.

Learning about oneself is the most difficult lesson to undertake.  It takes not only courage but also discipline and motivation.  It may be so difficult, in fact, that the student may wish to remain asleep and continue to live a life of discontent, misunderstood behavior, and continual pain and suffering as the lessons keep coming in.  And they will.

All pain and suffering begins in the mind, no exceptions.  Love begins in the heart, but love cannot exist where there is fear.  The more we can learn the lesson and dissolve our fears, the more we can live in the heart.  That is where God resides.  That is where we will find peace in our individual worlds and beyond.

Click on this link to listen to one of the world’s most requested and popular songs:

Imagine John Lennon (with lyrics)

Note:  If an ad shows up immediately below, know that it is not my doing.  It just appeared at the end of my post, and I do not know how to get rid of it.  A lesson in acceptance, I guess.

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On Track

Being off track is not necessarily a bad thing.  So why do we beat ourselves up every time we think we are not doing what we believe we should be doing?  All negative thoughts towards oneself like self criticism and self judgments are a waste of time and very draining to our personal energy systems.

According to universal law, there is no such thing as being off track.  There is a purpose to everything that we choose to do or not do, even if we are not conscious of the reason why we go in a certain direction.  This law implies that we are exactly where we need to be in life at any particular time or in any particular place or situation in which we find ourselves.  There are also no bad choices or good choices, only experiences from which we can choose to evolve or remain stationary – a difficult concept to grasp during those times when we are in the midst of personal chaos or challenging situations.

It must be quite obvious to those of you dear friends who have been following my year-long sojourn since I left Nova Scotia last September that I haven’t been doing much writing on this blog recently.  You are correct.  I want to thank you for your patience and attempts to check my blog for new material.  Although it has been a challenge for me to find internet connections and have resorted to buying a cheap coffee at McDonald’s and squatting on the grass beside a neighbour’s fence just to sponge off the wireless networks, it is no excuse.  As one honest friend recently said to me “I don’t want to hear any more of your excuses; just start writing again.”

I have been writing almost daily in my journal but have not been that motivated to write for public viewing.   You could say I have been off track.  But then again, I spent a wonderful summer here on the very warm and dry Canadian prairies riding my bicycle along the vast back country canola fields and straight dusty roads, meeting and getting to know kind and generous people, learning more about love, working part time in a metaphysical store in Moose Jaw, helping friends who need a hand with home and garden, enjoying the freedom of doing what I feel like doing on any particular day, and watching beautiful sunsets in an ever-changing prairie sky.


However, as winter is quickly descending on this part of the country, I’ve been feeling a restlessness lately to align myself with my original intention.  To quote from my very first blog post last September, “My dream is to create a lifestyle for myself where I have the freedom to explore and express my creative self in the form of writing.”

So I have decided not to travel to the southwest again this winter for many reasons.  Instead, I have found a warm, safe, and supportive place to get back to my writing and have prepared and stored my Prowler home on wheels for a long, cold and lonely prairie winter without me.  My new digs?  Well, I never thought that I would live in an apartment complex again, but here I am.  The good news is that I have constant access to the internet anytime I choose to plug my laptop into the telephone jack.

I try not to question myself as to why I am now living in Saskatchewan, a place where most of my life I said I could never live.  My intuition has led me here and as time passes, the many reasons become quite clear.  In the beginning, I had serious doubts about the sanity of my new direction.  But that was my mind talking.  My heart keeps telling me that I am exactly where I need to be and that I do not always have to know the why’s and where’s of my life.  My life these past few months has been a lesson in trust, and I am definitely not off track.

Posted in Narrative | 9 Comments

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time,

The Source of All That Is, the one who is named God, created the heavenly realms and a small beautiful planet called Earth.

Then God invited extraordinary beings from far-away lands of the universe to come and live on newly-created Earth.

God called those brave souls humans, and they chose to leave the comfort and familiarity of their homes and travel great distances to this strange soil.

After the humans were settled into their new planetary home,

God decreed three things:


1.  Earth will have abundant resources to give every single human who lived there food, clothing and shelter forever and ever.





2.  All life forms on Earth shall live in peace and harmony and love all who dwell there.



.3.  Humans shall have free will

Trust God that all fairy tales can come true

Posted in Narrative | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Days Gone By

Boom or gloom?  A drive through the back country roads and small towns in Saskatchewan, Canada, would suggest that life here is far from booming, which is in stark contrast to media reports of a growing economy with potash mines opening up in several places and immigration from provinces like Alberta and British Columbia picking up at an increasing rate.  What I hear on the radio is one thing, but what I see with my own eyes is something completely different.

Wherever I drive, there are abandoned farm houses, tilting metal silos and rusty obsolete farm equipment lying in the tall untouched prairie grass that is the backdrop of many yard sites.  Fields of grain or grazing cattle replace the driveways and private family backyards which once brought life to the land.

Most of the farmland is still being worked primarily with wheat, canola, barley, and lentils, and of course, cattle, but the trend is for families to now enjoy the benefits of an urban lifestyle in cities like Saskatoon and Regina with owners driving daily to the farm to look after the animals and crops.  As a result, what were once beautiful old homesteads and well-maintained barns are now crumbling reminders of days gone by.

I was told by an official from one Regional Municipality that the number of working farms in his south central district alone decreased from 300 to a mere 90 in the last five to ten years.  Evidence of a diminishing country way of life can easily be seen in the small towns and villages that dot the countryside along the highways of Saskatchewan.

On some farm acreages, the only reminders of another way of life are the antiquated wooden grain elevators that still stand proudly but alone in the fields.

One prominent reminder of days gone by is the number of antique cars and trucks that can be seen lining the grassy fields and dilapidated barns.   People in this province have an obvious fascination with and respect for this part of their heritage.

One local farmer told me “To wreck an old car is the same as wrecking an old farmhouse – there’s just too much history to destroy and then it’s gone forever.”  There are numerous antique car shows, auctions and car dealers that buy and sell these old relics and actually make a living doing it.  Most of the cars and trucks here in Saskatchewan get refurbished and recycled until sometime down the road these clunkers reach their final resting place in a forgotten prairie burial ground.

But with all the gloominess aside, there leaves only this.

Posted in Photos, Travel | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

Tunnel of Pain

Another low-pressure weather system, another sick headache.  During my younger years, I believed the pain in my head was a brain tumor, as it was so intense.  In my middle years, I called it a migraine because I didn’t know what else to call it.  Recently, my doctor called the pain occipital neuralgia.  Humm…is that what it is?

Regardless of the label, this chronic pain has plagued me since a serious car accident in 1972.  Despite all my experiences with numerous physical therapies and holistic treatments, I continue to experience this pain, even this morning when I woke up at 5 o’clock in agony at which time I popped a Tylenol 3 and two valerian root tablets into my mouth and went back to bed in what others who suffer from this pain will appreciate as “survival mode.”  It is not often that I feel like journaling or doing anything during the crippling pain, but today, I had enough.

Angels, it feels like there are two things going on—one, low-pressure high humidity, and the other, chronic subluxation in my neck.  I don’t believe for one minute that I have to go through the rest of my life having this pain and discomfort.  All these things are only triggers, but they are not the cause.  I would like to talk today about how I can transmute the pain into good health.  What do you see as the cause of the pain?

Organic factors with many triggers.  You are well aware of the various triggers and have over the years worked with them to lessen the severity of this problem, or as you call it “my cross to bear.”  We would suggest that you eliminate that thought from your consciousness.  Problems only become problems when you label them.

Well, the problem has been going on for over forty years.

And maybe you formulated that thought over forty years ago and have now created this reality.

You mean stop owning it, stop the thought that is manifesting into pain.

Yes.  Whenever you say “my pain” or “my this or that”, you are making it yours, like a call to the universe to continue giving the experience to you.  So eliminating that expression from your vocabulary as well as from your internal dialogue would help pave the way to dis-owning the problem. 

So what is causing the pain—“organic factors” you said?

There are many factors that constitute this chronic pain.  But the most important factor is one of programming.  You have been training your mind for over forty years to accept the belief that whenever any one of these organic factors is present in your life, the brain will then send the green-light signal to the body, that is, the neck and head, to experience the pain yet again.  This chronic programming must be interrupted before any healing can occur with the various methods that you presently apply because they are not addressing the programming, only the organic factors.

By “organic factors” you mean arthritis, nerve damage, spinal subluxation problems, bad weather, toxins settling in the neck, etc.

Yes.  This is correct, and you are well aware of these organic factors.  But it’s the mental programming that has not changed.  Think of it this way.  A young child starts crying for no apparent reason.  You go to the child, comfort her by holding her in your arms, telling her “it’s all right”, rocking her back and forth, etc.  But when you ask “Why are you crying?  Are you hurt?”, the child will say “No” and proceed to explain why she started to cry—usually because someone did something she didn’t like or she didn’t get her way.  But nothing physical was done to her to cause the crying.  You see, the child has been programmed to cry to get attention.  When the parental love and affection has been lacking, or worse does not exist, the young child knows that she can have this love and affection when she starts crying.  She has unconsciously programmed herself, but there are no physical factors present to precipitate the crying.

So I’m not sure I get the analogy here and how it relates to this occipital neuralgia.

A child’s life is never perfect.  The love and affection is not always there 100 percent of the time whenever she wants it.  So she creates the best situation by which she can get it—crying.

I understand that but still don’t see the connection to what we’re talking about—my neck and head pain.  Ooops, “the neck and head pain.”  Are you saying I’ve created this pain as a way of getting something in my life?

Not exactly, more of an illustration of how a mind can be programmed subconsciously in a negative way.  The child programs herself to cry to get love and affection.  You have programmed your mind to accept pain and discomfort because it’s a full moon, or a low-pressure system, or high humidity, or your neck is out, etc.—all organic factors with a mental programming cause.

Okay, I think I get it.  The child has taught herself to cry because she believes she needs more love and affection.  I’ve taught myself to have neck and head pain because I believe it is caused by bad weather or a full moon, etc.

Yes, now you’re getting it.  And have you not noticed that over the last few years there seems to be more triggers than ever?

Yes, I have.  I just figured it was because I’m getting older.  It seems like everything can trigger this migraine-like pain.  What are you getting at?

Because you have never understood the real reason for the pain when it began, you have spent most of your life trying to find not only the cause but also the cure.  You have made the causal factors very complicated and multi-faceted through your attempts to justify why it is happening and you say to yourself “Maybe it’s this” or “perhaps that is causing,” etc. and over time have convinced yourself that it is indeed true.  But when you think you’ve found a cure for this or that cause and it doesn’t work, you continue your search for the cause.  But you also say to yourself “This must be a factor also”, and guess what, you have created another factor that triggers the pain, but forty years ago you believed there was only one—a whiplash.

So you’re saying that my search for a cause for the pain has actually created more triggers.

Yes, just as a child searches for more love and affection by trying other factors when crying doesn’t produce the desired results.

So I initially blamed a bad whiplash for causing this pain, but when treatments over the years didn’t alleviate it, I actually attracted other causes in my life out of my belief that the whiplash wasn’t the cause.  Then it must be hormonal, then the full moon, then putting my neck out by doing something stupid, etc.  And now I have so many causal factors that I continue to have pain for more reasons.

Yes.  (pause)

I’m missing something here.  I understand how I’ve created more underlying factors in my search for answers, but what is the root cause?

There is currently no root cause, just a continuation of causal factors producing the effect of pain.

Wait a minute!  You’re saying there was no cause?

We’re saying there is presently no cause.

But there used to be a cause.  What was that?  I didn’t decide forty years ago to just start having migraines.

The cause has long passed.

Come on!  I’m now having a hard time believing all this.

Good.  You’re resisting what you’re learning about yourself.  This means you are getting closer to healing the issue if you continue the dialogue and not push these ideas away.

So if I put the pen down and go make myself a cup of tea because I’ve suddenly decided that’s what I want and I didn’t want it five minutes ago, you’re telling me I’m resisting knowing more and possibly healing this chronic issue of pain?

Yes, that is what we are saying.  But you have a choice—to make tea or continue writing.

I’m really feeling the need for tea.

How does your neck feel right now?

I can’t say better but can say that something has changed.

Can you identify the change or describe it.

Well, the pain is still there, but it feels strangely freer.

The energy is moving.

I’ll act dumb.  What energy?

We are breaking through the programming.  You’ve created the energy of pain over the years, and this energy is starting to move, or breakup, if you like.

Oh gawd, this is complicated!

More resistance.  Do you still want to make tea?

Is this a test?

No, it is healing.  (pause)  How do you feel?

I’m suddenly very cold.  I just had a shiver and I know it’s not cold in here because I’m roasting almonds in my RV oven.  The energy’s moving, right?

Yes.  You have wonderful understanding of the healing process and that’s why you are breaking through your own resistance because you know you have to to heal this chronic programmed pain.

You know, I’m feeling better and better—still some stiffness, but much improved since starting to write almost an hour ago.

It’s all about programming—chronic programming—how you’ve snookered yourself into accepting pain as an experience when there is no longer a physical cause.  There was a root cause many years ago, but your mind has accepted the belief in continued pain and, as a result, has created pain-body energy to prove your belief system.  You know how this works, but your resistance has prevented you from seeing how it has worked in your own body, only in the bodies of others were you willing to acknowledge this pain phenomenon.

I continue to feel better.  Glad I didn’t take a break and make a stupid cup of tea.  It all makes sense.  If arthritis is the cause for this pain, for example, and other people have the same degree of arthritis in the neck, they don’t experience pain like this.  And I don’t have the pain all the time even though the arthritis is there constantly.

You have finally reached a point in your life when you are unwilling to accept pain as your experience.  You have reached the end of your rope with it, so to speak.

I find myself wanting to ask what happens now.  Where do I go from here now that I’ve finally come to some understanding of what I’ve been doing to myself all these years?

Now you begin a process of reprogramming.  You just broke through the old programming and now you need to create healthier thoughts systems for yourself.  This is how all diseased conditions can be reversed in any body regardless of the degree of degeneration.  You know this.

Can you help me with that?

We are so glad you asked, for to not ask for help is to continue resisting.  Here’s the deal—whenever you hear yourself say, for example, “We’re getting close to a full moon.  I always have trouble with my neck at that time.  I think I retain fluids just like Mother Earth and her rising tides and this puts pressure on the damaged nerves in my neck that were caused by the whiplash”, stop your thought process.

Wow!  I do say that to myself.  That’s a lot of contributing factors in one sentence.  I even named one the “full-moon syndrome.”  I’ve created a lot of scenarios to justify and perpetuate pain in my body.

Yes, and how are you feeling now?

Better and better.  I’m hungry for the first time since I woke up this morning.  I want to continue with this.

So getting back to your thoughts about the pain, basically say something different.  Do not accept your mind’s hypothesis about the neck and head pain.  In the beginning with this process of reprogramming, say a contradictory phrase like “The coming full moon has nothing to do with any neck pain that I have experienced in the past.”   Then after you have made contradictory statements many times for each causal factor that you have created, it should be sufficient reprogramming.  Then if an unhealthy thought continues to enter your mind, dismiss it.  If one in particular persists, go back to making contradictory statements about it for a while and then dismiss the causal factor thought.  In time if you practice this reversal technique, there will be no causal factors in your life anymore and you will no longer experience any neck and head pain.  But this won’t happen overnight.  It’s taken forty years to create them all; it will take some time to reprogram them.  But not another forty years, we can assure you, now that you understand.

I do understand, and for the first time in a long time I feel I have a light at the end of the long dark tunnel of pain.   I realize that I have to work at this.  I can’t let this “ahaa moment” slip by and not do anything about it in the future, for to do so would be to continue not only resisting but also perpetuating the pain.  I get it.  I really get it.  Thank you so much for this insight.

You’re most welcome.  The insight was there all along, however; you just chose to resist it.  The reasons why are unimportant at this point, and to look at that would not be productive for you.  It doesn’t matter why you “did this to yourself” because the “why” happened forty years ago.  The “why” has no relevance in your life presently.  The only thing that is important to you now is the reprogramming techniques that you need to apply to reverse this psychosomatic condition.

So have I really got it?

How do you feel?

Sooo much better.  My sick headache is completely gone.  I do get it.  Now can I go make a cup of tea?

Savour the flavour.  You deserve it.

Thank you so much

You are most welcome.

Posted in Healing, Journaling/Channeling | Tagged , , | 12 Comments